10 Ways to Get Your Hands on a $3000 Axe – For Kids Only!!

The Tone Kid – Sporting his Jackson Collection

First, a true story for you all, from TheToneKing.com’s own Marc Johnson:

A thirteen-year old kid walks into a guitar shop. The first thing he sees hanging on the wall is a Les Paul gold top glistening as if showered in the rays of a new day’s sun.  He asks the shop owner, “Can I play that?”  The owner replies with a chuckle, “No way in hell.”  Upset, the kid goes and grabs his father, tears running down his cheeks, and tells him the whole story. Enraged, the father walks into the same shop and starts yelling at the owner. “My kid’s knows how to handle a guitar! He’s got guitars at home that are worth just as much as that hanging on the wall!”  To which the shop owner queries, “Do you know what the difference is between those guitars at home and that one hanging on the wall?”  The father raises his eyebrow, “What’s the difference?”  The shop owner answers, “That one hanging on the wall is mine.”

While anyone with a heart can sympathize with the kid, you have to understand the shop owner’s dilemma as well. If he lets some kid off the street play his top shelf gear, and the kid scratches it up, well, good luck selling that piece at a top shelf price. But all of this could’ve been avoided.

Here are some tips for being allowed to take those top shelf brands for a test drive

10 – Don’t be a Stranger: Owners gets squirrely about letting unknowns touch their valuable assets. Take lessons there. Get to know everyone. Introduce yourself. Shake hands. Walk in and say, “Hey Bob! How’s the wife and kids?”

9 – Don’t be a Pest: If the owners are busy, for Ozzy’s sake, leave them alone! There’s a fine line between being a friend of a shop and just plain annoying.

8 – Ask Good Questions: Like “why is that guitar $3,000, and that other one that looks just like it only $300?”   If you’re lucky, they’ll take it down and show you. The farther away that guitar is from its spot on the rack, the closer it is to being in your hands.

7 – Bring Your Parents: Think of your parents as an insurance policy. Owners know that if your parents are there, and you mess up their gear, they’re more likely to get their money.

6 – Phone First: Call em up. Ask if they have a guitar that you’re looking for.  Get their name and give em yours.  Then, when you visit the store, ask for that person. It lets them know that you’re serious about guitars instead of roaming in off of the street.

5 – Be Mature: Nothing pisses of a guitar shop owner than a kid who goes around plucking the strings on hanging guitars and turning all of the amps to ten. If you’re going to goof around, then don’t be surprised when the owner doesn’t let you play a $3,000 guitar and simply throws you out on your ass.

4 – Talk Money: Ask them if you can put a deposit down on that guitar.  Ask them if they have lay away.  Make sure they know you’re interested in buying something.

3 – Know Your Gear: Nobody’s gonna hand you a $3,000 guitar if you don’t know the difference between a PRS and an Ibanez.

2 – Know How to Play: If you can’t play a chord, then what in the hell are you going to do with a $3,000 guitar anyway?

And the number 1 tip is … (drum roll please …)

1 – If All Else Fails, Move On: If none of the above works, show some self-respect and don’t cry and whine about it. Heck, if after taking all of these steps, the owner isn’t giving in, you’re probably shopping at the wrong place anyway. Have your mom or dad buy the axe through some mail order joint with a 45-day return policy, play the crap out of it while lying on the floor next to your dog after eating a bag of Doritos and decide if you wanna keep it.  If you don’t, call ‘em up, tell ‘em it sucks ass, and tell ‘em you want your money back!

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About the Author: The Tone King | TheToneKing.com | TTKRocks | REAL reviews for REAL players! ROCK hard, ROCK loud, ROCK ON!

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